Here's Why I Never Left Jesus

There are stories I've never really told publicly because they involve people I still care about. Even after years have passed, I've never wanted to write something out of hurt or bitterness. But lately I've realized this story isn't really about a church.

It's about Jesus.

People often ask me if I've always been a Christian, and the answer is yes. But if I'm being honest, my faith has been shaped just as much by watching imperfect people as it has by reading Scripture.

One of my earliest memories of that was when my parents divorced.

Looking back now, ending their marriage was probably the healthiest thing that could have happened for all of us. There was infidelity, alcohol, broken trust, and so many things happening behind closed doors that my mom couldn't control. Staying together wouldn't have fixed any of it.

What I remember most wasn't just the divorce.

It was watching how people in the church responded.

Some of my mom's closest friends wrapped their arms around her, loved her well, and walked beside her through one of the hardest seasons of her life. Others treated her like she had somehow failed because she was no longer married.

As a little girl, that was confusing.

How could people who all loved Jesus respond so differently?

That experience taught me something that has stayed with me my entire life.

People are people.

Some will love you well.

Some won't.

But neither group gets to define who Jesus is.

Years later, my husband and I spent 25 years serving in youth ministry.

It wasn't just something we did on Sundays.

It was our life.

Mission trips. Wednesday nights. Camping. Lock-ins. Counseling students. Walking with families through celebrations and heartbreak. We poured our hearts into that ministry because we believed God had called us there.

Eventually our church went through a painful split. It was heartbreaking to watch people I loved divided over things that should have united us.

We stayed.

Not because everything was okay.

Not because it wasn't painful.

We stayed because we genuinely believed God hadn't released us yet.

When the time finally came that my husband lost his position, it hurt deeply. It wasn't how either of us imagined that chapter ending.

But something interesting happened.

I never questioned Jesus.

I questioned people sometimes.

I questioned decisions.

I questioned why certain things happened the way they did.

But I never questioned whether Jesus was worth following.

Because by then, I'd already learned something years earlier while watching my mom.

People can get it wrong.

Jesus never does.

That season eventually led us to Vista Community Church.

For me, it has been a place of healing.

Not because it's perfect.

No church is.

But because I found people who helped me breathe again.

I've attended Bible studies, met wonderful people, and slowly rediscovered the joy of simply showing up to worship without carrying the weight I had carried for so many years.

My husband is still healing in his own way.

And that's okay.

Healing doesn't happen on the same timeline for everyone.

These days, I don't volunteer the way I once did.

For twenty years I poured into ministry, and honestly, I was tired.

I'm also a hairstylist. I own my own salon. I drive to Waco for work. And when I'm not working, I want to be with my husband and our daughter.

For a while, I felt guilty about that.

Then I realized something.

I'm still serving.

It just looks different now.

Every morning before my first guest arrives, I pray over my salon.

I pray over my chair.

I pray for the woman who will sit in it.

I pray for whatever burden she's carrying that I can't see.

I pray that she leaves feeling lighter than when she came in.

I don't know what every client believes.

I don't know what they've walked through.

Some have been hurt by churches.

Some have never stepped foot in one.

Some have questions they're afraid to ask.

My job isn't to convince anyone of anything.

My job is to love people well.

To listen more than I talk.

To serve with excellence.

To create a place where people can simply exhale for a little while.

If someone ever asks me why I still believe after everything I've seen, my answer is simple.

Because my faith was never built on people.

It was built on Jesus.

People will disappoint us.

Churches will sometimes get things wrong.

Leaders are human.

But Jesus has never failed me.

That's why I never left Him.

And that's why, every morning before I unlock my salon door, I whisper a simple prayer:

"Lord, let whoever sits in this chair today experience Your love through mine."